My parents live about 400 miles from us. Which is not a lot, as distances go. Less than a day by train or car. And my parents have recently retired, which maybe should have meant that I would be seeing more of them. But they seem to be too busy, too afraid of coming to the big city, too reluctant to to disturb the routine with their dog and their neighbours and their own friends.
I have a job, and a wife and three kids, two of whom don’t live with us full time but visit weekends. Somehow my folks are missing out on developing a close relationship with their grandchildren. And I’m not spending as much time as I’d like with my father.
A lot of it is about the dog. Dad thinks (and has said on more than one occassion) that the dog is his baby, his youngest child. He thinks that the dog, my brother and I are siblings. He won’t come to visit without the dog, and my wife is allergic to them.
I don’t know whether the dog is just an excuse though. My parents get the dog looked after maybe two to four times a year when they go on holiday. I don’t know why they can’t do that and come and spend a week here. I’d like to spend a little more time with Dad without the dog.
Part of me is surprised to find that as a grown man (and I’m now in my 40s !) I still feel the need for a parent. Its not that I was ever neglected as a child. My parents were close, family oriented. This distance has grown between us during the years of work, marriage and family. Strange, really. I’d have thought that having three grandchildren might have pulled us closer together, but maybe during that time we have been living such seperate lives. The breakdown of my first marriage didn’t help. But why hasn’t it gotten better?
It’s time we started a dialogue, don’t you think, reader?
What is it that I’m missing, and is it the same for you?
[...] mean, there’s the stuff I mentioned about my father, okay, but that’s [...]